The Fickle Exerciser

I've fallen off the wagon.

For a while this spring, I was running a few times a week and doing The Shred again. I felt pretty damn good about myself.

And then life fell apart for a while in late spring and lay in a crumpled heap until we started to pick up the pieces in late July. Unlike many, I do not exercise when stress levels get too high: I curl up into a ball and weep.

August was better emotionally but a whirlwind of travel and house guests, though I did manage to eek out a few runs and a bike ride. Those runs were exhilarating and amazing while up in the New Hampshire mountains.

I ran a 5k in September. Yes, ran the whole thing, albeit s-l-o-w-l-y. But that is the extent of any formal "exercise" I got.

Now it is October 1. My clothes are a bit tighter but not obscenely so. I feel like doing sit ups, but part of me thinks, "why?"

I have been a short-term exerciser for as long as I can remember. Sometimes "short term" lasts a year, sometimes it lasts a week. But it has never, ever been as routine as brushing my teeth.

I read Bill's post "How Badly Do You Want It?" and came up short. Oh sure, I'd love to look like a marathon runner, or maybe even just a really fit version of myself. But how early am I willing to get up? Am I willing to give up my time working in the morning, or evening, for this? Do I try to fit in a half hour of exercise while the kids are reading or coloring or scattering Legos across my living room?

How badly do I want it?

How badly do you want it? Do you make the time for exercise? How?

The Next Generation of Shredheads

Hey Jillian, if you ever make a Shred for Kids, I've got your workout partner right here:

And I think he's actually closer to doing a real pushup than I am.

Using the rhythm method

For me, the start of a new "school" year is all about finding a groove, or rhythm, to our day that feels natural. By natural, I mean that we need to all feel awake and ready to work when it's time to work.

So, mornings are good, but not too early. Afternoons aren't good because my brain stops working properly after 3pm.

But, I've hyperventilated more than once this week over the thought of trying to "do it all" this school year. What, pray tell, is "all"?

Two kids homeschooling this year;

An eager preschooler who wants to do some schoolwork too;

Writing for two cool sites; soon, three when this gets relaunched;

Exercising, something I need to do for my well being;

All the activities we have going on: soccer, girl scouts, dance, swimming, coop;

And, of course, fitting in playdates with homeschool and regular school friends.

We used to start doing school at 10am and finish by 1ish. But, with double the number of kids "in school", I need more time. Which means I need to dial back our start time to 9am which eats into my valuable work time, and/or my workout time.

Since I can't write at night (other than little quips on Twitter about whatever reality television show I happen to be watching), I have decided to try exercising after I put the kids to bed. Yes, Shred after Bed, or something like that.

So, tonight was to be Night #1. And instead of working out, I fell asleep on the couch.

I may need to think about this new schedule a little bit more.

Zumba: It's Not You, It's Me

I have never felt more white and nerdy than the time I attended a family member's wedding with my husband, who was my boyfriend at the time. This family member was marrying a man of Cuban descent, who had a big family full of beautiful women in it. As I stood there in my pale, shapeless sundress, I looked at their tan skin, shapely bodies in low-cut dresses and their moves on the dance floor and sighed. I was angular and awkward to their sultry and confident.

I haven't felt that way too often in the years since then. Maybe having three little kids around me hasn't given me the time to obsess over how goofy I may be, at least in my mind's eye.

Until today.

I recently joined a gym, and with the kids in day camp, I have been able to try out some classes. This morning, I decided to try out a Zumba class, having heard all about this new workout craze from friends.

I knew I was in trouble approximately .00002 seconds into it, when the instructor stuck her hip out in a way that my hip does not move. And, for the next hour, I tried in vain to imitate the gyrations, shimmies and booty shakes I saw in front of me.

(I'm feeling a bit guilty about borrowing a video clip that isn't mine, so if you want to see Zumba in action, check out one of these vids on You Tube)

At first, it was all I could do not to laugh. The class went left--I went right. They shook their booty and my booty said, "no". I felt like a newborn fawn---all new, stumbling legs. I rolled my eyes and soldiered on, giggling at the absurdity of it all.

But, after 15 minutes of this, I felt embarrassed and ashamed of my lack of coordination. It stopped being funny when not one person caught my eye during the quick water break. Not one person said, "oh, don't worry, it took my months to get the hang of it". By the time the music started up again, I had to bite my lip to hold back tears.

Somehow I made it through the hour by basically making up my own steps. If I saw her do "cha, cha, ball change, cha", I did "step, step, step, step". And forget about the arms.

Sure, if I went another 20 or 30 times, I might get good enough to keep up with the class. But, when I have one hour to do a workout, I don't want to have to learn an entire choreographed dance routine in order to work up a sweat.

This is probably why I still love Jillian's 30-Day Shred: no coordination necessary. Perfect.

Do You See What I See?

It's been two-and-a-half months since I became a Shredhead, completed the 30 Day Shred in 40 days, and then joined up with Team Bob for continued motivation.

And, while many of my former Shredders have moved on to training for a 5K, I have soldiered on with the videos, trying as many different ones as I can about 4-5 times a week.

Results? You want results? Well, I'm not taking any half-naked shots right now, but I've got something to look at anyway. I started at 138, went up to 140 pounds and am now at my Holy Grail number: 130.


(ignore my unmanicured toes, please)

I even fit back into my size 4 skinny jeans, although they really are a second skin. That's good though, because if they ever got baggy. . . yeesh---that's a little too much weight loss for me. I start to look like a stick figure when size 4's don't fit.



The good news is that I haven't been dieting, I've just been more conscious of what I'm eating and why. When I find myself reaching for a snack because I'm stressed or the kids are eating or "just because", I check in with myself and ask if that's what I really want. Sometimes it is, so I eat, or sometimes I just need a drink or a break or bed. I also haven't been eating after 8pm (except for a few times) and keep a glass of water nearby at all times.

So, yeah for the Shred! Jillian (and Kristen who started this whole bloggy thing) is my hero(ine).

Keeping It Going

I'm a reluctant exerciser.

I understand why I do it: I like how I feel after I finish.

But, man, I hate to think about it, especially on a Friday morning when all I want to do is get about six more hours of sleep.

This is how it's been since I finished the 30-day Shred Challenge with a bunch of my fellow bloggers. It was fun to think that we were all doing this together, and while I know that many have pledge to continue on in either "Team Bob" or "Team Jillian", this maintenance stuff kind of sucks.

You mean I have to exercise forever? And ever?

I hate when I start an On Demand (Comcast cable) video and realize, about 10 minutes into it, that I can't stand the voice (or routine, or pace, or music). I hate finishing 20 minutes of exercising and not feeling as spent as with the Shred. And, yeah, I have gone back to the Shred a few times and then I remember why I was so glad to finish.

So, I've been sort of cobbling things together with a little of Jillian, a little of Bob and a daily dose of Elise. If you don't know who she is, you must try her 10 minute "Straight to the Core" ab workout. Whoa nelly.

It's nice to know that it actually may be worth it too. Two days after Easter, that festival of chocolate bunnies and eggs and jelly beans, I got on the scale and saw that the needle had moved down.

136. Two pounds gone.

Yeah baby. That'll keep me moving.

I Just Want to Pump You Up

A day I have been dreading and anticipating has arrived: I have finished the 30-day Shred.

Anyone who has done Level 3 of The Shred knows why I couldn't wait to finish. In fact, after every completed set of exercises yesterday, I sputtered out, "DONE!" as if I would never have to work as hard again in my life.

Ha.

So, why the "dreading"? Well, I knew I'd post photos and, frankly, I was worried about these. Did I really look that different? What's with this skin still around my belly button area.

Oh, so you mean to tell me that I've got to keep working at this?

Overall, I'm thrilled to have done this program. I started it on March 2 and finished on April 6---a little more than 30 days but those selective days off were good when my knee or neck was bothering me.

OK, OK, enough writing---here are the photos:

Before from the side:



20 days in:




Day 30:


And, from the front, before:



20 days in:



Day 30:



(yeah, I know my photographs aren't exactly the same crops, zooms and brightness; I'm working on that)

I started at 138 pounds, which isn't bad for a 5'9" red-blooded woman, but considering that I have "small bones" and the bustline of a 12 year old, 138 feels a little too fleshy.

About halfway through the Shred, I was startled to see that I actually GAINED two pounds and was up to 140. I reasoned that perhaps the extra weight was muscle. Or pizza.

But, after that high, I lost a bit. I'm down to 136 right now. I'd like to get down to about 130 but I'm not going to freak out about it. My weight for most of my thirties was 125, but when I look at photos from that time, I look a little too angle-y and all limbs.

Plus, now, I feel different. My arms are muscley---not in a way that anyone would notice, but I feel muscles in my forearms that I never knew I had before. My midriff is tighter and, although I have a bit of a pooch, it isn't as thick as it used to be.

But, perhaps the biggest reason to do this? I raked all of my flower beds on Sunday (after Shredding) and didn't hurt afterward. I can chase the kids and not get winded. I run up and down the stairs a zillion times without feeling like I'm "gargling my heart".

And, you know, I think I've even warmed up to Jillian. After all, anyone who can get me off my butt for 30 days is pretty amazing.

Shredhead Update: If I squint, it looks like it's working

Just started Level 3 of the 30-Day Shred. I've been consistent except for a few days I've taken off here and there.

So, how's it going?

Well, I'm not going to weigh myself anymore because my weight is really going nowhere. And, while I know my weight is "just fine", seeing that little needle hover in exactly the same place day after day does nothing for my psyche.

Also a week ago, I was visiting my wonderful Physical Therapist who helps me with my neck-and-shoulder issues, and I was complaining that I still have that "tire" around my midsection. She suggested that I need to up my cardio by a wee bit to try to burn off that extra fat. So, after Shredding for 20 minutes, this past week I have added 10 minutes of cardio on our recumbent bike.

Is this working?

Here is where I was when I posted my first post on March 7:



And here is me on Day 20 of my Shred:




(honestly, I can't tell if my pants are hiked up more or if the bulge is reduced)

Here's another angle; taken at the start of March:





And now:



Heck I don't see much, do you? But, I do see something here, which wasn't before:



Oh yeah, a little bitty muscle trying to come forth.

I'll be back in ten days with another round of humiliating photos, so stay tuned!

Shredding Like an Oldie

For the most part, I do not feel my age.

But on Day 6 of my "30-Day Shred", my right knee decided to feel its age.

My knees have long been my nemesis in exercise. I have incredibly bony knee caps, and judging by the way my father walked as he got older, they will someday cause me to walk in the same stiff way.

And, it didn't help that one drunken night in college, I fell HARD on my knees and woke up unable to get out of bed. Six weeks of crutches and leg supports seemed to help a bit, but they've never really been the same.

So for the past three days, I've been Shredding like someone a few decades older than my (cough) 41 years, at least from the waist down. I'm happy to report that, from the waist up, I'm getting stronger---I can actually feel arm muscles again and the sit ups are a cinch.

Hopefully I'll be back to Shredding full strength soon, though. I think Jillian is starting to give me dirty looks through the television screen.

My first Shredhead post, complete with photos: Because nobody reads blogs on Saturday, right?

I've really been stalling on this one.

When Kristen announced her new "get fit fast" plan for the month of March, I was intrigued. I had just started exercising again, but any little thing could derail me from exercising (too tired, too cold, too early, too late, headache, backache, planets out of alignment, etc). Knowing I'd be doing this program with a bunch of other awesome women gave me a little push.

Plus, I had never even heard of the 30-Day Shred workout, but after hearing that twenty minutes a day is all it takes? Srsly? Sign me up!

What stalled me was that many of those participating were posting "before" photos. Uhhhhhhhhh.

It's not that I think I'm overweight. In fact, I'm not exercising to lose (much) weight but to tone all those areas that have been so neglected over the past few years. The odd thing is that I popped right back to my pre-pregnancy weight after having Belly and Jilly, but after D, I haven't been able to get rid of the extra 10 pounds hanging out around my mid-section.

And, man, would I like to have some muscles.

So, here goes nothing!






I've been shredding at Level 1 for five days now, starting at 140 pounds. I am now 138, and would like to get down to 130, but I cannot, will not diet. I've explained why before, and I trust that my body knows what my weight needs to be to stay healthy.

But, listen, waist? I'd like you to get rid of that flesh coat you've had on for the past few years. Really, it's getting old.