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Fairly Odd Mother

Frantically waving my magic wand to make wishes come true.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Living Like It's 1980

Oy, the computer issues! How much am I hating Comcast right now for making me wait FOUR DAYS before they can get someone out here to fix the problem? So sorry that I have not looked at anyone's blog in days, or even tried to say something interesting on my own. I'm on my husband's laptop right now and we have a strained relationship at best (the laptop & I, not my husband).

I was able to get this posted to New England Mamas in case you'd like to read about vegetables. Hey, vegetables are good for you!

I'll be back just as soon as our computers are healthy again. In the meantime, I'll be reachable via the (blah) phone. How quaint.

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Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Got Munchies?

I'm talking about food here! Yes, food!


Sunday, June 22, 2008

Cheaper Than Therapy

"Think of this as marriage insurance".

Spending the night in Boston isn't cheap. Hotel, parking, dinner, drinks, more drinks, breakfast. . . these things add up. And, yet, I think of it as an insurance policy that we pay into---an agreement that once (maybe twice?) a year, we'll steal away for about 24 hours to just focus on each other.

So, yeah, expensive, but worth every penny. Plus, we got this cool drink recipe from the bartender at Moo in Beacon Hill. It has the unfortunate name of Hoopty Doopty, but after a couple, you won't care what it is called:

1/2 oz Orange Blossom Honey
3/4 oz Lime Juice
3/4 oz Apple Cider
2 oz 10 Cane Rum
Fresh Mint

Mix the honey, lime juice and apple cider together before adding the mint. Muddle the mint and then add rum. There may or may not have been ice.

Re-entry though is a bitch. The kids were (somewhat) happy to see us come home, but were too enthralled in the movie my mom had put on for them. There were way too many arguments today, and I was ready to head right back out to see if my hotel room was still available. Instead I wrote this post for New England Mamas about what I did with my bounty of vegetables this week.

Hoopty Doopty!

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Thursday, June 19, 2008

What's New?

The verdict is in: a compressed elbow fracture (actually it has a much longer Latin name, but this is what I got out of it). He gets to wear that snazzy red cast for three weeks. Yes, it is waterproof. Mama coughed up $36 so her baby could play in the water.

First thing he did when he got home yesterday? Tried to get onto his scooter and ride around. I was having none of that. I made him wait until today to ride.

In other news, I've been writing like a woman with a job or something. First, I am thrilled to be the newest contributor to Cool Mom Picks which is exciting, fun and flattering. As some of you know, there is nothing that I like to do more than tell people about Things I Like That I Think You Should Like, Too.

On that note, I also spent the past few days putting together this list of "50 Things To Do with Kids Around Boston Before They Grow Up" for Alpha Mom. It was a great exercise in memory, creativity and counting, although I apparently don't count so well since I always seemed to find two #9's or no #28. I pulled it together though, and the column went up today.

Finally, my beloved and I are going to be spending the night alone! in Boston! without kids! Cannot wait. I just hope I can stay awake later than my usual 10:30 bedtime.

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Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Sticks and Stones

He wasn't even riding his scooter at the time. He must have just fallen sideways and landed, with a hard thud, on his elbow.

There were tears, but mostly it was his arm that hung limp by his side that scared me. I carried him indoors and tried to distract him with cartoons, grapes, jokes---wanting to see if his arm would come back to life.

Instead, he and I went to the ER. Four hours of my little guy in my lap, head on my chest, little arm hanging by his side. He was so quiet and stoic until the x-rays, when he screamed as his arm was straightened, was twisted, for the best picture. The technician looked like she might cry.

Nothing definitive. We see an orthopedic surgeon tomorrow to determine what the plan should be. Right now, he sleeps, exhausted from his ordeal.

And, I type, as I wait for the fatigue in my body to overcome my brain and let me rest.


Monday, June 16, 2008

No Animals Were Harmed for This Shopping Spree

I may be back to eating bacon, but at least my shoes are cruelty-free.


Saturday, June 14, 2008

This and That

If you need a good laugh, you need to see this. I'm still chuckling.

I've also posted my second in a series loosely known as My Life in Vegetables.

Happy Saturday!

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Thursday, June 12, 2008

Have You Been Half Asleep, and Have You Heard Voices

My grandmother lived on the banks of a pond, and I'd visit her every summer, often spending several nights sleeping in her small home with my family. One of my favorite sounds was the call of the bullfrog who we called Charlie.

My grandmother died when I was in my young 20's, but I lived in her house after she died so that it wouldn't fall into disrepair. Charlie was out there every summer night, singing his song.

My mom lives there now and although it's been a while since I've spent the night (she lives only 20 minutes away, so we just make day trips), I would know Charlie's song anywhere.

Which is why I stopped dead in my tracks when I entered my bathroom late tonight and heard his familiar song outside my window. A bull frog. Outside my window. In the suburbs.

I hope he sticks around.

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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Roll, Roll, Roll in Ze Hay

I called my OB/GYN yesterday because I wasn't sure of one thing:

Me: "Hi, I had surgery for xyz last week and wanted to know when I could again have marital relations* with my husband". (*no, I did not call it that; just trying to preserve my 'family friendly' reputation).

OB/GYN office: "Well, as long as everything appears to be healed, you can start when you'd like. Just be sure you don't overdo it!"

Me: "Listen, I have three kids. We don't have time to overdo it."

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Monday, June 09, 2008

Summer Days Driftin' Away

Every year, on the Fourth of July, my grandmother used to say,

"The summer's over!"

We'd all groan and tell her she was being ridiculous.

Turns out, she was right. Look what came in the mail today:

Yes, hurry up and fire up that grill. Summer's over!

(just don't tell him yet, ok?)


Saturday, June 07, 2008

What I Do While the Kids Play Outside Like Wild Animals

If you long to see what one busy mom does with a whole truckload of green vegetables, please stop by here.


Friday, June 06, 2008

Where I Completely Blow the Mother of the Year Award

Scene: Outside with kids. I turn to walk into the house and yell back at them:

"Hey kids! I'm going upstairs to vacuum! Do NOT get hurt while I'm inside because I won't be able to hear you scream!"

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Thursday, June 05, 2008

Flying for Scaredy Cats

I hate to fly.

Really, really, really hate to fly.

Just typing that sentence makes my hands sweat.

And, yet, in a few months, my darling children, husband and I will get on an airplane and fly to Florida. Believe me, I've thought about driving, but am trying to be reasonable and get over this fear of mine.

I have an interesting way of looking for the right flights.

First, I search for direct flights. Absolutely no way do I want to land and take off a second time if I can avoid it. If this means I have to drive to a less-convenient airport to get that direct flight, so be it.

Once I find some flights, note that the lowest-priced flight is from an airline called Air Tran. I have never heard of Air Tran. Immediately start researching this company, its accident record and the planes it flies. Worry that their price is too cheap. Are they paying their pilots enough? The fact that they merged with ValuJet in 1997 does not make me feel better.

Do the same 'research' for Jet Blue. See that it flies an Airbus. An alarm in my head goes off: isn't Airbus the plane that is supposed to be very difficult to fly? Where did I hear that? Search for source of this supposed fact with no luck.

This goes on as I scan the airlines and their fares. Feel increasingly anxious.

Then, I remember that I never did take any of the Vicodin that I was given for my recent surgery. Memo to myself: "Hang on to those pills; you may need them". But, then I admit to myself that I'd never take a single thing to calm my anxiety on a plane; I need to be alert for the in-flight safety demonstration.


Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Feeling Groovy

My uterus wanted to let you know that it feels all shiny and new today. Many thanks for your kind words.

May 41 be less---ahem---invasive.

For those of you in my corner of the earth, here is a little something I wrote that may interest you.

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Sunday, June 01, 2008

40 is Kicking My Ass

I've always believed that age is a state of mind. Lately, though, I've felt about 75.

Since turning 40 last July, I've had:

* a colonoscopy;

* found out I'm just a step away from having a torn retina (a bit startling since the only other person I know who had a torn retina is the 80+ year old music director of our church);

* a mammogram which came back as 'suspicious';

* a second, let's-really-squish-them-to-hell mammogram which, thankfully, came out fine;

* a hysterosonogram which is about as fun as being punched in the gut a few times.

And now, on Monday, I go in for a 'procedure' that involves some heavy sedation in the Day Surgery wing of our local hospital. Nothing too serious (well, at least I'm told that 99% of woman are 'fine' afterward), but, geesh, do you think 41 will be a bit easier to take?

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