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Her Expanding Vocabulary

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Fairly Odd Mother

Frantically waving my magic wand to make wishes come true.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Her Expanding Vocabulary

My 8-year-old came up to me the other day and said, somewhat shyly, "Friend X told me that it is a swear if you put your middle finger up on your hand".

Ahhhhh. . .yes, gotta love those moments in life when the unsavory creeps into a regular day.

After explaining that the middle finger is indeed an unkind gesture that she is never, ever to repeat (especially to other homeschoolers because then we will be "THAT" family), I sent her on her way.

The next day, we went food shopping. Our town's giganto supermarket has a drop-off child care room with wrist bands, beepers and video cameras, and even though it isn't my favorite food store, that feature alone is a pretty big draw.

After leaving the kids to play under the watchful eye of Some Woman, I picked up the kids. In the parking lot, Belly pulled me to her and whispered, "the woman in there said a bad word."

The word was "shit" which, yes, is a bad word. I found out that the woman had said it to her adult son who had stopped by to discuss a bill he had received. And, although I think she could've used better judgment, I didn't freak out after I found out she wasn't yelling at the kids when she said it.

"What's it mean Mommy?"

"It means poop. It's an icky word. Please don't repeat it."

And, then the last word was "ass", courtesy of Jillian Michaels' 30-Day Shred.

"It means bum or butt. Please don't repeat it", I said wearily.

As she turned to go, she realized something and announced excitedly, "Hey! I learned 3 new swear words this week!"

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Anonymous Boston Mamas said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh man... just more evidence for the case file that there is an impossible amount of sensory input that is out of our control.

Because the timing works better for me, I end up doing the longer Jillian programs on day care days and the shorter yoga programs on days Laurel is home. Maybe that's why she doesn't walk around saying, "smokin' hot bod" yet.


11:25 AM  
Anonymous Auds at Barking Mad said...

Ok, I probably shouldn't share this with you, but I will because it will show you that what Belly said was really pretty minor than what the Little Imp pulled, before she was even 2! Even more upsetting, it was ME that said it in the first place.

To date, she has never ever repeated it since I shot this video in November of '07 and she constantly chastises the rest of us if we do happen to slip and say so much as "stupid" in front of her.

11:44 AM  
Anonymous Bill said...

The Jillian one is interesting...I'm certainly not against bad language, and I have a ridiculously filthy mouth when I'm around the right (or wrong?) people, but I really dislike that she uses "ass." There's just something about people using bad words like that that gets to me. Like when people on satellite radio use them just because they can.

And fortunately, my kids haven't repeated anything yet. I said the big S word in the car yesterday when someone pulled in front of us, and luckly they were talking to each other and missed it. Whew!

12:34 PM  
Blogger jennster said...

LMFAO! omg! oh man... i love the whole "please don't repeat it."
and we please talk about the fact that your supermarket has a kids care?!?! holy shit. oops. i LEARNED THAT WORD FROM THIS BLOG! :)

12:51 PM  
Blogger Mama Goose said...

I'm not looking forward to these types of conversations. I'm still trying to curb "poopy" and "bum-bum".

2:38 PM  
Blogger Suburb Sierra said...

Great...I'll quiz my kids after we see your kids to find out what else they've learned that you don't know about ;)

We were mini-golfing over the weekend and came upon a tricky hole to which Ab shouts "Holy Crap!"

I can blame the Holy part on Catholic school - the crap part is probably from me!

4:01 PM  
Blogger Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...


5:31 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Ugh. Yeah, we've been having those conversations more and more lately, too. Probably because I let our 5 year old watch Friends with me (I'm completely addicted to that show), and they use words that my husband and I haven't said aloud in about five years. I've found myself explaining some of the racier things in 5-year-old-speak, also with the accompanying "You may not ever say that word yourself" admonishment. Fortunately for me, one of the words I haven't explained yet is sex. That's going to be fun.

Also - child care in your grocery store? I'm moving in with YOU!

5:49 PM  
Blogger Robin said...

Too funny.

I may perhaps use the word shit a bit too often around here. My two Israeli kids on the other hand don't. They say (in a strong Israeli accent) "sheet" (which is universally recognized as someone with a Hebrew accent saying "shit"). When I call them on it they get all smartass on me and say "but mom, we're not saying shit, we're saying SHEET!".

Kids. Bah.

12:49 AM  
Blogger Mary Alice said...

They learn it sometime!

7:28 AM  
Blogger Trenches of Mommyhood said...

Thankfully we still pretty much have innocent ears in the Trenches. The "s" word is still "shut up". Whew.

1:12 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

We are currently having any swear word that might slip out be completely trumped by the complete and total obsession with butt humor. Sigh.

1:10 PM  
Blogger Patois said...

Hey, if your mother doesn't teach you swear words, you end up learning on the street and using them incorrectly.

4:09 PM  
Blogger Mom, M.Ed. (Jessica) said...

When I had Benjamin in 2004 I cut down on my profanity significantly.

But, I did not cut down on listening to Rage Against the Machine and Green Day. So...I am happy to report that Ben has learned all of his Profane Vocabulary from professionals. :)

Fortunately, he has only ever used profanity in the midst of singing in the car--and he enthusiastically sings the word, "funkin'." I'm hoping he mispronounces it for a couple of more years. :)

8:40 PM  
Blogger Sus said...

"Wearily." Indeed.


as an aside, my word verification is, appropriately enough, "ASEshn."

Please don't repeat it.

1:38 AM  

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