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Friends Don't Let Friends Screw Up S'mores

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Fairly Odd Mother

Frantically waving my magic wand to make wishes come true.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Friends Don't Let Friends Screw Up S'mores


The Year: Pre-children, sometime between 1997-2000


Cast:
Fairly Odd Father (FOF), otherwise known as my husband
College Roommate (CR), my beloved college roommate
BFF, my best friend from high school

SigOth, her Significant Other
Shop Clerk 1
Shop Clerk 2

Various Others, including Yours Truly

The Scene: Cast is sitting around a picnic table next to the pond enjoying the early summer air, bellies full of barbeque and beer. Someone mentions S'mores, and the group glances back at the grill whose embers are still glowing pink. The time is approximately 8:30p.m.

Fairly Odd Father and College Roommate jump up: "We'll get the stuff for S'mores!"

Fifteen minutes later, FOF and CR return from store, park at top of hill and walk down to rest of group eagerly awaiting them at picnic table.
A shopping bag is placed in the center of the table and items are pulled out one by one.

First to come out of bag is a box of graham crackers. Next, a bag of marshmallows. Last, a bottle of Hershey's Chocolate Syrup is plunked down on the table.


Photobucket

Silence.


SigOth (confused): "What the hell is this?"

CR (cheerfully): "It's chocolate. For the S'mores!"

Silence.


Me (completely bewildered, looking back and forth at these two people I love dearly): "Chocolate SYRUP? For S'mores? Weren't you guys in Scouts?"

Silent weeping.

BFF: "OHMIGOD! What time does that store close? It's almost 9! Maybe we can still get chocolate bars!
"

A flurry of activity as BFF and SigOth leap up and run to top of hill in a sprint to get to the store before it closes. Remember we are in the boondocks, where stores do not stay open after 9pm.

New Scene: At little strip of stores in "center" of town. BFF and SigOth burst into Convenience Store and look wildly for candy aisle. Spotting it, they run up to the candy and see that there are no Hershey Bars remaining in any of the slots. They turn and run to the Cashier who is bored and watching the clock.

SigOth: "Chocolate bars! We need chocolate bars! Our friends were just here to get stuff for S'mores and WE NEED CHOCOLATE BARS!!!!"

Shop Clerk 1 (who speaks ever so slowly and deliberately): "Hey. . .I remember those two. When they came to the register, I thought, "I sure hope they aren't trying to make S'mores." Well. . .we're out of chocolate bars. But, you could try the pharmacy next door. They close at. . .(they all look up at clock as the minute hand clicks to the top position). . .nine".

BFF and SigOth run out the door as if on fire and grab handle of pharmacy door. They pull and. . .it is locked.

SigOth starts to pound on door, yelling, "PLEASE!!! Please open the door! It's an EMERGENCY! We need CHOCOLATE!!!!"

Shop Clerk 2 appears at door and turns key. He opens door a crack and says, "Can I help you?"

SigOth: "PLEASE! Our friends are idiots! They don't know how to make S'mores and we need chocolate bars! Please! Just some chocolate!"

Shop Clerk 2: "I'm sorry. The register is already closed."

SigOth, thinking quickly and digging into pocket: "Here!!!! Take twenty! Don't worry about change! Please!"

Shop Clerk 2: "Um. . .okay."

BFF and SigOth run into store, scoop up a dozen Hershey Bars, thank Shop Clerk 2 profusely and return to gang at picnic table. Friends cheer arrival of chocolate bars and happily begin making S'mores.

Spotlight slowly comes to focus on FOF as he bites into a freshly-made S'more and realizes he hates them and will now have to endure S'more jokes for the rest of his life.


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Curtain closes.

Labels: , , ,

24 Comments:

Blogger The Mom said...

How can he possibly hate Smores?! And who in the world would put chocolate syrup on them? I've been spending the last few weeks trying to teach my kids how to roast the perfect marshmallow. Somehow whenever they try, they end up blackened bits of sugar.

8:42 AM  
Blogger Heather said...

Hahahaha! Thanks for the laugh!

10:15 AM  
Blogger Reff said...

It's obvious that the internet is out of ideas. Fairytales now? Really?

fail.

10:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

as I remember the incident, we were lauded for coming up with such a cool new twist on making smores.

10:49 AM  
Blogger Issas Crazy World said...

I'm cracking up. Syrup? What in the world would make someone think of that?

I love smores, but I hate marshmallows any other time. Something about being out in the wild (snort) makes them good I guess.

11:06 AM  
Anonymous Obi-Mom Kenobi said...

FOF, I salute you. I am also not a fan of the s'more - although I give it the old college try every single summer. "Yup. Still don't like s'mores."

11:34 AM  
Blogger Whirlwind said...

Yikes- I love smores!

I was recently somewhere where they didn't have a campfire, so they used fluff as the marshmallows - blasphemy!

11:38 AM  
Blogger Subspace Beacon said...

Like marshmallows. LOVE chocolate. Enjoy graham crackers. But HATE s'mores. Spouse & children love them so much they make them in the microwave. Oddballs.

11:45 AM  
Blogger Mom, M.Ed. (Jessica) said...

S'mores gag me. LOL! And to think, I grew up on Chocolate Avenue in Hershey "Chocolatetown USA", PA!

Ya know what I dig, though?

That crazy, crafty, bewildered lookin' S'more at the bottom of your post. Nice!

12:45 PM  
Blogger Robin said...

That is hilarious! S'mores with chocolate SYRUP???

Sadly we don't have graham crackers here, so my now raging craving for s'mores will have to go unanswered.

1:29 PM  
Blogger Magpie said...

He didn't like them? Huh.

1:53 PM  
Anonymous Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com said...

How could they not know how to make smores? I'm pretty sure that if you're born in America, you pop out of the womb knowing how to make smores.

Lol. At least they'll never screw it up again!

4:28 PM  
Blogger Beck said...

That reminds me of the time that I was cooking at a friend's house and she was running to the store.
"Grab whipping cream!" I said.
She came back with a can of spray kool whip. She'd never even HEARD of the other kind. Buuuh-what?

6:07 PM  
Blogger jenny said...

Nice to see that I'm in good company...those things are awful.

I love that the clerk actually thought that they might be trying to make s'mores but decided not to say anything because really, chocolate syrup???

Great story. :)

6:27 PM  
Blogger toyfoto said...

I'm going out on a limb here and predicting an Oscar.

6:56 PM  
Blogger toyfoto said...

Whoops. ... a Tony. This was live action.

6:58 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

Ha! He thought psuedo chocolate would do the trick? Well, at least he didn't try to use Tootsie Rolls.

7:30 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Funny! First of all how can he not like S'Mores...weirdo! :)

And second...chocolate syrup? What?!?

I wish I could go make some right now!

8:08 PM  
Anonymous Julie said...

I'll step out on a limb here and announce to all that I have never had a real S'more... you know the kind that is cooked over a camp fire with the "correct" ingredients....

Crazy huh....

10:04 PM  
Anonymous mrs. q. said...

I still can't believe that the only two people on the planet who don't know how to make smores, volunteered to get the supplies. Never go camping with these two. This story is only made more ridiculous by the bribing of a second store's employee for chocolate bars. I missed that part before.

5:29 PM  
Blogger Melani said...

OMG how funny! Great story!

8:44 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

You do know I'm going to make him try them again tonight, right?

11:12 AM  
Blogger Kat said...

You married a man who doesn't like s'mores?! It's a good thing you didn't know this before you said "I do"; imagine!
I love the lengths that a bunch of grown adults will go to to get their s'mores. I can so imagine myself doing the same thing (LOL)!

11:28 AM  
Blogger The Red Headed Mama said...

Just an FYI, Reese's cups in place of the chocolate bar = HEAVEN!

3:18 PM  

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