Trick or SoyDairyEggNutTransfat-Free Treat!

This afternoon, my neighbor flagged down my minivan in the street as we were returning from the library (this week's letter is "Q": books on queens, quilts and Qatar! What the hell am I going to say about Qatar?).

OK, back to my original story: as I rolled to a stop next to her, she smiled and handed me a plastic baggie with pumpkins printed on it. Inside the baggie was an assortment of 'fun-size' candies: Smarties, Skittles, Charleston Chews. I thought she was giving me a treat, but then she explained that this was the bag of treats she wanted ME to give to her son when he came to my door on Halloween night. You see, he is allergic to tree nuts and those candies had been pre-screened by her. She was now walking up and down our street of about 30 houses and giving each neighbor a baggie of candy.

At first, I marveled at her smarts, her practicality (and I love all things practical). Her son would not be exposed to anything dangerous! That Epi Pen could be set aside for the night.

My second emotion was a bit of guilt. My oldest daughter, Belly, is allergic to milk, yet I have never even considered putting together little baggies of 'safe' candy and distributing them to the neighbors. What kind of mother was I? I even get excited that I get to eat all the chocolates in her Halloween sack. I suck.

But then, really. Are we headed toward a time when moms and dads march up and down the streets the day before Halloween, loaded with baggies of pre-sorted treats? Imagine how this would look in practice on Halloween night: the doorbell rings; I open it and peer at the little masked and painted faces. "Oh hi Mary! Here is your nut-free treat bag; Kyle, here is your yummy dairy-free bag; and Joey, I'm sorry, but it looks like your mommy would like to see you lower that BMI. Here are some rice cakes and raisins".

Now THAT is scary!