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Fairly Odd Mother

Frantically waving my magic wand to make wishes come true.

Monday, October 23, 2006


Fairly Odd Father & I have three children. Little ones, although they seem so old at times. Especially when the girls are dancing with their bums pushed out and yelling, "Shake your bum-bum!" (they did NOT learn this from me, I swear!)

We were married in the summer of '99 on a 101 degree day; outdoors, of course, and then held the reception inside a 'rustic' hall ('rustic' is code for 'no air conditioning').

Six month later, we had bought our first-and-only house. I imagined many nights on the back porch drinking cocktails with FOF and friends, being loud and carefree.

Two weeks after we moved into the house, I was pregnant.

Our first child was born in January 2001. We call her Belly, and she's rocked our world more than we could've ever imagined.

Two short years later, Jilly was born, plump and squinty. She quickly became our never-stop-moving, squirmy worm of a child who has yet to crack the 10th percentile in weight since her 3rd month checkup. Her favorite word is 'poop'.

And then, to prove that Fairly Odd Father and I have no idea how babies are made, we were even more shocked---SHOCKED, I say---to find out that #3 was coming just 18 months after #2. Shortly after D was born, Fairly Odd Father was made less, a-hem, potent, and we closed the book on any more surprise babies.

So them are the kids.

As for me, I went from working a zillion hours a week in my 20's as a Media Planner for two different advertising agencies, to burning out and quitting it all at 29. . .that lasted about six weeks, and then I was freelancing and then hired by a media agency.

I met FOF during my work 'hiatus', on Friday the 13th of December, 1996. I basically threw myself at him shamelessly. I'm not sure what story we'll end up telling the kids. Probably a cleaned-up version until they are about 40.

After Belly was born, I went down to working three days a week which was pretty good for a while. After Jilly, though, daycare costs and the complete pain-in-the-assness of schlepping them both to daycare became too much and I quit the 'paid-job' life for good.

I have now been a SAHM (I hate that acronym but am too lazy to come up with something better) for over 3 years. Totally not the life I imagined for myself when I was a 20-something career person.

Funny thing is, I really like this life. I don't pine for the days when I had my own office and got to tell people what to do. I was tired of the whole scene. The only thing I really miss is the dozens and dozens of free magazines that were one of the perks of my job. Oh, and the money. And quiet time on the computer. And company lunches. So, maybe there were a few things good about work.

As far as our decision to homeschool? That was also not planned but rather fallen into, much like our decision to become parents to three kids in under four years. At some point, I'll get around to that story.

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Blogger Mom101 said...

I love your backstory! And at least some of us have enjoyed many cocktails on your porch, even if you're not among them.

Was it really only 101 the day of your wedding? Damn. I always tell the story as 106.

1:05 PM  
Blogger Reff said...

Yes, but it was a dry heat.

With love,
The "less potent" FOF

8:01 PM  
Anonymous The Sistah said...

I love those little people.

And I don't pine for working in an office either... just for the days when I could type a friggin' email without SOMEONE wanting to bang on the laptop.

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And I'm thinking a 'less potent' uncle may be in the future, too... Ask hubby if he preferred the frozen corn or the peas.

1:06 PM  
Anonymous The Sistah said...

Oh, and I don't think the dancing is my fault. My poor dancing skills only involved teaching them 'the swim' and the bump. And maybe the 'stirrin' the pot'... C'mon, do it with me.

1:10 PM  
Blogger Reff said...

The dancing gene is dominate within my family DNA, so I guess I'm on the hook for that.

Frozen peas and Percosets. But that's not the most disturbing thing about the process. Worse is after the procedure when you need to provide a "sample" at the clinic to make sure the fishes are not getting out of the pond. Reading material is provided or you can bring your own media (VHS not DVD) - just letting you know the rules.

1:37 PM  
Anonymous the Sistah said...

To respond to Odd Father, my DAD had a very funny, albeit disturbing, story about taking in his er... pond for er... fish counting after the whole thang, and trying to keep the guys warm during freezing weather to the clinic. Heh. Heard this story only a few years ago, which is probably better for my therapy.

2:52 PM  
Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said...

LOL, that story about our dad is pretty funny if it wasn't so disturbing.

At some point I'll have to find out what everyone's funniest memory of our boiling wedding was. For me, it was Sharon hiding Jeff's clothes after he decided to go skinny dipping. Can anyone say 'shrinkage'? (although I wasn't looking!) xoxo, The Blushing Bride

4:03 PM  
Blogger modmom said...

you're a full-time mother
like me.
browse free magazines at barnes+noble.
teach your kids to cook for you!

9:44 PM  

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