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I'm Pretty Sure the Bus Driver Would Never Shoot the Pigeon

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Fairly Odd Mother

Frantically waving my magic wand to make wishes come true.

Monday, August 03, 2009

I'm Pretty Sure the Bus Driver Would Never Shoot the Pigeon

The book was supposed to be called Don't Let the Turkey Drive the Motorcycle.

Instead it will need to be renamed, Don't Mess With the Motorcycle, Turkey, or the Police Will Pop a Cap Into Your Feathered Behind.

Yes, Freddy the turkey met with the long arm of the law and was shot to death on Friday by our town's police.

What was the crime? An unnatural, some say obsessive, love of motorcycles. . . and donuts.

Freddy loitering outside our local Dunkin Donuts and trying to look nonchalant next to the hunka hunka burnin' love next to him.

But, when Freddy flew in anger at a motorcyclist who tried to kick him, the jig was up. Under advisement from our state's wildlife organization, this turkey had become too much of a nuisance and was not recommended for return to the wild.

(memorial erected in honor of Freddy)

RIP Freddy. It's too bad more people can't slow down enough to see the humor of a turkey that love donuts, motorcycles and strolling down a suburban street in broad daylight.

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Blogger Mom101 said...

I can't stop laughing. Oh shit. Am I supposed to be laughing?

4:04 PM  
Blogger Magpie said...

Some people just don't understand turkeys.

7:55 PM  
Anonymous mrs. q. said...

Last month I counted a gaggle (wait, that's geese-- group? clan? posse?) of 40 turkeys in my backyard. I will gladly send you a replacement.

9:21 PM  
Blogger jerryberry said...

I wondered why I hadn't seen him/her lately. =(

7:39 AM  
Blogger Mama Goose said...

Oh this is too sad!

2:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very sad because it's not like the turkey made an unprovoked attack. He was kicked. And he retaliated. And was killed. Awesome line of thinking.

Interesting also that the wildlife people were able to make an assessment based on what, a phone call? A visit to the turkey in the parking lot? "Unable to be returned to the wild" is a decision arrived at after appropriate and scientifically-backed approaches fail.

It sounds like people failed here, because they could not be bothered to tolerate or understand another creature in their midst. Laziness. Sheer laziness.

Let's not do anything that might require a little effort, right? Ooof. So inconvenient. Put a bullet in his brain. Now that's a solution we can all be proud of.

I love how people in small towns/suburbs wax eloquently about how they love all the green, all the nature. Until that nature gets in the way.

Understand I am not angry at FOM here, who it seems was not thrilled with the solution either. I just think the decision by the cops, the town, and the wildlife people to take the easy way out as quickly as possible is deeply flawed.



7:23 PM  
Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said...

Yes, Joe, totally agree. I'm not sure if you are from my area, but I do think the turkey needed to be relocated from the intersection----it is a SUPER dangerous intersection (known as 5 corners) and I can see why having a turkey who would randomly decide to chase motorcycles or stroll into traffic would be a danger. I wish he could've just lived in our little part of town, but that wasn't realistic. If someone had gotten hurt or killed, I imagine the town would've had a huge lawsuit on their hands.

BUT, they didn't need to kill him/her. They should've captured him and moved her somewhere else. We have 'animal sanctuaries' around here, plus a lot of open space, so it just seems ridiculous that other options weren't tried.

I'm pretty sure the police are regretting their decision since there are over 1000 fans on "Freddy's Facebook page" and people are all up in arms over this. Some would say we don't have enough to worry about in this town if this is our biggest outrage, but so be it!

7:32 PM  

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