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Forgive me Father for I have sinned, and Strawberry Shortcake saw the whole thing

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Fairly Odd Mother

Frantically waving my magic wand to make wishes come true.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Forgive me Father for I have sinned, and Strawberry Shortcake saw the whole thing

There has been a lot written about those people at BlogHer who got so greedy about swag, they lost all common decency in an effort to acquire More Stuff They Don't Need.

I have a confession:

I walked that dark, lonely path for a few minutes this past weekend.

No, I didn't elbow a baby, try to blackmail the Crocs guy or crash an invite-only luncheon for the yummy bathrobe. But, I was a Swag Whore just the same.

Follow me, dear reader, down my path of shame. Wear shoes; it gets sticky.

It was the first day of the conference, and I had already gotten off schedule by the second session. Arriving super late to the session on Brands and Bloggers (which featured my super-ethical friend on the panel), I hesitated at the door when I saw the standing-room only crowd.

Something caught my eye as I stood, and I looked to the left where a life-sized cardboard cutout of Strawberry Shortcake was propped against a table. A couple of smiling women at the table beckoned. I took their bait thinking to myself, "maybe they will have a little sticker that I can bring home to my berry sweet girls" (hey, I know the lingo; we have her books).

"Hi", I said, planning to grab a couple of stickers and run.

"Hi", Smiling Woman #1 said. "Go inside and hear this panel. We have dolls in all the gift bags."

Dolls in the gift bags.

I immediately thought of those dolls, nothing but those dolls. My girls love dolls! They'd think I was the greatest mommy ever if I brought one home!

I forgot all about my friend on the panel in the room next door and scooted into the Strawberry Shortcake "MommyBlogging" panel. Did I mention that there were only 15 minutes left?

Sliding into a chair, I moved a pink tissue-filled gift bag to my feet. Score! The girls will think I'm SO cool when I bring them one doll.

One doll.

I have two girls.

I looked to the empty seat to my right and spied a second gift bag. Could I swipe a second bag? Was this unethical? Or just smart parenting?

Fifteen minutes later, I strode out of the conference room with one bag.

One bag stuffed with TWO dolls. Oh yeah, I knew to hide my swag-a-holism.

I went to the next session and sat with the gift bag between my feet. And when I got up to go to the next session, I forgot the bag until I was far away.

"I forgot something!" I chirped and speed-walked back to the room I had just left.

The bag was gone.

As I retraced my steps, I first felt sad that my girls would not be getting two hot Strawberry Shortcake dolls from their swag-whoring mama. But, then I realized that it was karma, baby, that caused me to leave that bag behind.

Those dolls were never mine.

Unconsciously, I had set them free, and thus relieved myself of the scarlet letter of shame.

Which someone else now wears for taking my bag of dolls.

May they wear it well.

Labels:

10 Comments:

Anonymous Boston Mamas said...

You. crack. me. up.

Oh man, if karma truly is in play, some people are going to get bit rather hard on the rump.

-christine

10:37 PM  
Blogger Jozet at Halushki said...

My girls loved the dolls! Thanks!

Signed, Paula Dean

10:44 PM  
Blogger AnnetteK said...

There were so many strawberry shortcake dolls being handed out in that session I ended up with 2 and I have a BOY! My nieces will be very happy next time I see them.

9:44 AM  
Anonymous Audrey at Barking Mad said...

This cracks me up in a "Oh Lordy, I've been there" kind of way.

Karma is indeed a...well, you know what they say.

BTW, I know I tweeted it, but I really enjoyed meeting you on our way down to BlogFest in VA. I just can't imagine a more lovely person to meet,for my first time meeting someone from the blogosphere. I mean that in all sincerity.

1:07 PM  
Blogger Gray Matter said...

Mmmmmm....Karma....smells just like Strawberries.

Sure you had fun, but was it as awesome as sharing a room with an Ambien-doped newbie at a mini-conference? I think not. We'll just let everyone think it was epic.

4:30 PM  
Blogger toyfoto said...

You are a riot. I'd love to see what would have happened if they were giving away Bratz dolls ... Whole other story, probably.

4:55 PM  
Blogger Magpie said...

Karma indeed.

Though I'm on the verge of disappearing the doll I got; its sickly smell is not nice.

9:53 PM  
Blogger Vicky said...

For shame! I think a lot of ass kickin' karma is probably spreading around the blogosphere right about now.

Loved meeting you and hanging out with you all last weekend. Hope to see you again!

3:20 PM  
Blogger Issas Crazy World said...

Best title evah!

Funny, but they had those at many of the panels. I gave mine to a friend who has twin girls.

5:53 PM  
Blogger Patois said...

I'm guessing the person who swiped your hot goods isn't feeling any shame.

9:25 AM  

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