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Fairly Odd Mother

Frantically waving my magic wand to make wishes come true.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Weighing My Options

Recently, Fairly Odd Father bought something that I swore I'd never use again. When I saw it, I shouted, "Why do you need that?!?! I thought we would never have that in our house!"

And then, "Oh, the kids! I don't want it near them either!"

He promised he'd hide it. He promised he wouldn't use it in front of me or the kids.

But. . .there was a time I couldn't resist it. It had the power to make me euphoric or despondent. I was an addict. How could I allow it back into my house now? After I had come so far?

In the end, I relented.

I am an adult, after all. I've beaten this. I need to be a role model for my children, not someone afraid to face her nemesis.

So, it was in the house for about four days before I saw it again. Fairly Odd Father is a terrible hider.

I turned my back on it but the curiosity got the best of me. I took it off of the bathroom shelf and put it down.

I got on. Ten pounds heavier than expected. Damn.

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Blogger Moments Of Mom said...

OMG! My mind went to so many other places than a scale. I started out at Video Games, then vibrator, then porn, (sorry its been a while), but FOM, when I read it was a scale, you had me laugh out loud, in my living room, all alone.
This is by far the funniest post I have EVER read, by anyone.

9:45 PM  
Blogger nuttnbunny said...

Truly horrific! We found that encouraging a 3 yr old to repeatedly jump on the dreaded device promptly renders it harmless.

9:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I also immediately went to naughty thoughts when I started reading. :-)

Scales are evil. I liked not having one, but then my husband also bought one. I hate it. I'm doing all this exercising lately and the frickin' thing won't budge.

I like to pretend that they are not accurate!

12:14 PM  
Blogger Jeni said...

kick that biatch to the curb... the scale, i mean.

2:29 PM  
Blogger Chicky Chicky Baby said...

Noooo! Not the scale. Anything but the scale.

Um, I may have tagged you for something. Or maybe I didn't. Guess you'll have to find out for yourself.

3:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At my last visit, I made the nurse at the OBGYN's check my weight-- twice. I was shocked but not horrified, as I remembered my pre-pregnancy weight as 126--still some room to go with the "recommended 25-35 lb. weight gain." Until she informed me that her recorded start weight was 118. So I actually gained 8 pounds more than I thought. WHAAA?! That kinda math sucks. Evidentally, Oreos are not my friend.

8:02 PM  
Blogger Girl con Queso said...

This post made me laugh out loud.

10:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I find that if you hold your breath while stepping on and off the scale several dozen times, eventually the numbers change ever so slightly and you can shave a good 1/2 - 1 pound off the results. You should try it - it really doesn't take more than 20 minutes in the morning to do :)

1:40 PM  
Blogger Blog Antagonist said...

LOL. I didn't expect that either. They are Eeeeeeee-vill!! Just say no to scale.

3:05 PM  

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