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Fairly Odd Mother

Frantically waving my magic wand to make wishes come true.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

All Hail the Perfect Mother

The other day, I heard someone say this:

ā€œI have never, ever raised my voice to my children. I have never, ever looked at them with anything but a smile and love in my eyes. . . I let them know every day how much I treasure them. I adore them. They are my reason for being on this earth. I would never raise my voice to them. I would never tell them anything but that they are the precious young men that Iā€™ve had the privilege of being their mother.ā€

Is she friggin' kidding? Two boys and you've never raised your voice in anger? Never given them the evil eye when they start telling fart jokes in front of company? Never had a bad day and said something you regret?

Attention please! I would like to nominate Dr. Phil's wife for sainthood in mothering! Or, are there more of you out there? I must know how you've found your zen.

When people hear I homeschool my kids, the first thing out of their mouths is often, "Oh, you must be so patient". And, I have to stifle a laugh, because of all the qualities I have, patience is one that I could use in spades.

Lately, my mothering has been less-than-stellar. I'm not sure if it is the 'post holiday' doldrums, but I can't shake that desire to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head. I raise my voice too often (although more in a 'military officer' tone versus the 'crazy-lady screech' heard on the show that prompted Robin---aka Mrs. Dr. Phil---to make the above statement). I say things like, "Hurray Up!", "Stop Playing with Water!", "Give me that!" and "Will you just Listen!".

Ugh.

I know I'm a work in progress. I know I should count to ten a little more often, should lighten up, should go with the flow of mothering.

I also know that one person I would not want to be is the pregnant daughter-in-law to Mother Robin. I couldn't handle trying to live up to that.

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21 Comments:

Blogger Life As I Know It said...

Ugh. I can't stand dr. phil or his wife. She is full of crap.
None of us are perfect. Does she realize that by saying that she is distancing herself from every mother listening to her?
I'll stick to Oprah...

9:50 PM  
Blogger SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Me, too! I keep wanting to crawl back into bed in the morning. It's too cold and dark out.

The "patience" line always cracks me up. That, and "You're such a pioneer woman!" Huh?

10:32 PM  
Blogger Robin said...

Yuck. I really hate sharing my name with her. I've never liked that whole subservient wife "stand by your man" sitting in the audience thing that she does either.

And that comment? It's not crap, just a bald-faced lie. Either that or the nanny raised the kids so that she only had to see them when everyone was happy.

Blech! The two of them deserve each other.

2:50 AM  
Blogger Blog Antagonist said...

UGH. Her personality is almost as phoney as her face. I cannot stand that woman. People are fallible, flawed, imperfect. This perfect mother image she cultivates only alienates her from people and makes her look wholly disingenuous. She's completely full of shit, in other words. I'm far more inclined to listen to the advice of someone who says "Listen, I've been there...."

6:42 AM  
Blogger AnotherMomCreation said...

Ummm, Yea, I am so not that lady. I am the one who threw her 3 year old over her shoulder and marched her right out the grocery store!
And left my full cart right there by the exit.

Oh yeah, and She is so full of something fowl I can't even imagine it. Or she has a constant drip of nitrous oxide in her home.

*what kind of example is that to give women? Young women who might be watching her on tv? UGH. That is frustrating.

8:20 AM  
Anonymous mumo3 said...

I will merely echo the comment above: She. Is. Full. Of. Shit.
If I took seriously the crap spewed by self-righteous wretches like Ms. Robin, I'd be suicidal in my complete and utter failure as a mother.
I'm all over the 'crazy-lady screech', by the way. Unfortunately, though I think it's losing it's impact. Recently they seem to be getting some perverse satisfaction in their power to drive me friggin' nuts!

9:04 AM  
Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

You are not alone. Oh, no!

And whoever said that quote... is a big, fat liar.

Pants on FIRE!!!

11:14 AM  
Blogger Beck said...

Who on earth is going to believe her AND if it was true, what possible good did she think it was doing her children to treat them like flawless little princes in the first place? Ick.

12:30 PM  
Blogger Elder Smith said...

It makes you wonder just how medicated Dr. Phil's wife really is.

Never once did she raise her voice to warn her boys of potential danger?

Please.

Tammy and Parker

5:13 PM  
Blogger Alpha DogMa said...

I'd believe it of Mrs Dr Phil. I bet she lets him do all the discipline and "stays sweet" for her man.

Oh, and the daughter in law? You mean the one who posed in Playboy? In a nude threesome with her triplet sisters? Who eloped with the eldest son and then pretended it never happened so they could have a big splashy wedding with exclusive photos sold to tabloid magazines? BRAHAHAHAHA!

5:40 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

I have a friend like that, she swears that if she raises her voice to her children they physically vomit. UGH.. I could never live like that I and really think this other Mom is medicated and just admit it!

6:26 PM  
Anonymous mrs. q. said...

SHE IS MEDICATED!!!!! (and I'm YELLING that...)

8:18 AM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Having witnessed your "work in progress" in person, I vote you for awesome mom. There is no perfect, and anyone who says differently is the wife of a talk show host.

A host by the way, who is SUCH a devoted family man that he's willing to exploit a troubled young mom at her lowest moment. (Oh my God, did I just stick up for Britney?)

11:55 AM  
Blogger Fratzels said...

You know - what does that teach children? it teaches them that mom's life revolves around them. I, for one, do not have time or patience to let my child (whom I adore and love with all my heart) think that my whole world and reason for being is him. do you suppose, parents like her are the reason for some of the selfish children we are seeing today?

12:50 PM  
Blogger Mary Alice said...

I think Mrs Dr Phil must smoke a lot of dope. I mean a lot a lotta lotta. Certainly you try not to be an unresonable screaming shrew...but someone who says they have NEVER yelled at their children or given them the stink eye? Memory Loss.

Though...I dunno know, on second though maybe she hasn't yelled. I would take her for more of the passive aggressive type.

2:33 PM  
Blogger Just Seeking said...

Mrs Dr Phil is LYING. Either that or the nanny raised the kids and she rarely ever sees them. Any of us who REALLY raise our kids, who REALLY spend time with them, have made mistakes and have had our uh less than perfect moments, ahem.

Amen to genuineness!

1:37 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

I agree with what everyone said. There is no way she could never yell at her kids. She must have not been around them much or been on a-lot of medication! Nobody is that perfect.

Everyone says that to me "oh I can never homeschool because I'm not patient". I am definitely one that loses my patience a-lot too. I think most of us are!

5:25 PM  
Blogger Domestically Challenged said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Who is this Mrs Phil ? She is in La,la land.

I agree with 'just seeking' and Mary Alice - this isn't an honest thing to say - she is only fooling herself!
DC

4:25 AM  
Blogger Laura said...

Yeah. I agree with all of the previous posters. I feel horrible when I can't keep my cool with my kids...but , you can't HIT your sister when she has teased you because you always micro-manage all of the pretend scenarios because she is cute and you are jealous and she feels like you get to do more things because you are older and are jealous because she's the cute little sister...Agggghghghggh!!!

"It's OK to be mad. It's OK to be upset, or angry. It is NOT OK to tease and HIT each other!! GOD!!!"

I say that almost every day... It's workin' eh?!

3:46 PM  
Blogger Nora Bee said...

Did she really say that? She's lying and even if she's not I'm glad she's not my mother. Here's to the end of winter, eh?

2:37 AM  
OpenID cablegirl said...

Yeah, I SO do not believe people who make statements like that. You've never raised your voice? You've never looked on your child with anything other than love? Oh, please. Are you android or human? That's such a bald faced lie.

And on that note, I got to you via Alex Elliot. She told me you are a homeschooler and sent me to check out your blog when I posted this morning that I was looking to find non-religious homeschooling blogging mamas.

7:33 PM  

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