Sure Beats Raffi

When we finally bit the bullet and decided to buy a minivan back in '04, we were asked, "Do you want the optional DVD player?"

I looked at my sweet girls who were pleading "yes, yes, yes" with their eyes, turned to the salesperson and said, in no uncertain terms, "Hell, no!"

Most of you know that I am not a "TV hater". I admit that I am conflicted about television----laughing uproariously with "America's Funniest Home Videos", basking in the quiet of three children watching "Curious George" and tsk-tsking the antics on shows like "Keeping Up With the Kardashians".

Highbrow, I am not.

On the other hand, I wish my kids didn't want to watch TV as much as they do. My oldest negotiates her TV intake as if her life depends upon it.

I knew a DVD in the car would be an endless source of whining, begging, pleading and general pain-in-the-ass frustration. My idea of using it "only for long trips" would turn a trip to the Target down the street into a "long trip". So, I nixed the idea right away.

However, after months and months of children's music CD's, I was ready to shoot myself (most of the CD's I like have a pesky "Parental Advisor" stickers on them; we tried the Classical Music station for a while, until I developed a twitch).

So, I turned to something we all seem to enjoy: books . . .or, more specifically, audio books (which I stubbornly still call "Books on Tape" even though we only listen to CD's). With our library card, we have borrowed hours and hours of great literature that is read over the speakers of our car stereo.

In honor of Children's Book Week, which will run November 12-18th, I will run down the titles we have heard, along with some comments. These books are listen in the order of when we listened to them.

The Little House Series: If you want to commit to audio books, this is a great way to start. Beginning with Little House in the Big Woods and ending with The First Four Years, we listened to ten separate audio books about Laura Ingalls and her family (one of the books, Farmer Boy, covers Almanzo Wilder's younger years). This is pretty safe stuff for young kids to hear; some mild corporal punishment and loads of drama---after hearing The Long Winter, I vowed that I will never, ever complain that my car does not heat up fast enough on a snowy morning.

Charlotte's Web: Even if you know this story inside and out, or have seen the movie on the big screen, this is well worth a listen. Read by the author himself, E.B. White has a wonderful voice that brings his characters to life. Belly and I both wept when Charlotte died.

Five Little Peppers and How They Grew: I probably would not have been able to sit down and read this as a chapter book. However, as an audio book, its 'quaintness' and formal speech are easier to digest; we really did grow fond of this story. However, remember that language has changed quite a bit in the past 100 years and do not take a slurp of coffee as the narrator reads, "Joe ejaculated . . ." In this case, "ejaculate" means "to exclaim". Now get your mind out of the gutter.

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn: This is where I wish I still had a brain. Nothing like putting in a CD and wondering, "hmmmmm. . .what age is this book written for?" just as the "N" word is uttered into the confines of our minivan. "Ejaculate, I mean, eject that disc rightaway! Sorry kiddos! Nothing to see here". . .

The Trumpet of the Swan: How is it that I made it to the age of 40 and never even heard of this book? Another E.B. White title that is read by the author, The Trumpet of the Swan is the kind of story that gives me goosebumps when I think of it. The premise sounds ridiculous: a Trumpeter Swan named Louie is born without a "voice", i.e., he cannot trumpet. Despite this rather large handicap in the swan kingdom, he goes on to achieve great fame and fortune, and plays a pretty mean trumpet as well. You must hear this story.

The Mouse and the Motorcycle: A sweet, short story about a mouse who communicates with a little boy. Oh, and there is a motorcycle, too.

The Secret Garden: Starts off with a very unlikeable main character who goes through major transformations after being orphaned. Beautifully written and unforgettable.

The Magic Tree House Series: Book Listening Lite. Easy to understand with likable characters who time-travel in a tree house. Got a bit sick of hearing the lead character say, "Oh, Man!" every time he was amazed, but my kids were entertained.

Peter Pan: I was surprised at how much I disliked this story. First, it is WAY too graphic for young children---people are threatened with death, stabbed and even killed in large slaughters. Peter Pan speaks about mothers in a very derogatory way, and comes across as a little prig. I had seen Peter Pan performed on stage when I was 6 (Cathy Rigby was Peter Pan), and remember it as delightful. The book itself? Not so much.

A Little Princess: By the same author of The Secret Garden, there are a few similarities in this book (both star an orphaned girl from India living in England). I knew my daughter would love this book based on its title, but the heroine in this story is more kind and quirky, than royal and aloof.

We currently have The Tale of Despereaux: Being the Story of a Mouse, a Princess, Some Soup and a Spool of Thread all queued up and ready to go in the van. If there are any other books you can recommend, I'd love to hear about them.