Care to shower?

It is no big secret that I dislike showers. No, not the kind that clean your body---I L-U-V those, especially when the kids don't try to join me---but I do not enjoy the "wedding" or "baby" variety. No matter how much I love the person for whom the shower is being thrown, there are always too many older aunts, mothers, etc around to insure that things remain 'tame' and 'polite'.

So, it was with some joy that I discovered that baby showers are now being thrown virtually. Check out this, a baby shower for Liz of Mom-101, Christina of A Mommy Story, and newbie mom Tammie of Soul Gardening.

Apparently, all of these smart women would like some advice from other moms on what to expect. I know that two of them are perfectly capable moms in their own right, and the third will be just fine, but I figured I'd offer up one piece of advice that no one told me (damn you all!).

For months after you have that baby, wear Depends (or Poise Pads), especially if your baby came flying out of the chute. Trust me on this one. It is quite normal to pee yourself: 1) every time you think about going to the bathroom; 2) as you frantically try to unzip your pants; 3) as you go up or down stairs; 4) when you sneeze, cough or laugh; 5) for no apparent reason. For some of us, this little postpartum 'gift' will be around for a long, long time after the baby has arrived.

In a related item, for God's sakes, KEGEL! I will someday tell my own personal story, but knowing it may cause some of you to cross your legs and never let anything pass that way again, I will refrain until a later date. Just, please, Kegel, Kegel, Kegel.

So, that is it from me. I wish you all a quick delivery of a happy and healthy baby.

For anyone else reading this, stop by the shower site and play the games, offer congratulations and maybe even win prizes. Don't worry, you don't have to dress up, eat cold scrambled eggs or even bring a gift.