More Than You Wanted to Know

A while back, I asked the brain behind Alpha DogMa to interview me. I had just finished reading her own hilarious interview (you must read it here), and knew she would send me some good questions.

After she sent me the questions, I printed out the email so that I could ponder them on my own time (cue wild laughter over 'my own time'! as if!). Fairly Odd Father saw my printout lying on the desk and scribbled in his suggested answers. Let's see how close he got to my actual answers:

Question Number One: You are obviously a music fan, but what critically-acclaimed, wildly popular musical act (past or present) makes you scratch your head and say, "What the -?"

Fairly Odd Father's guess: "Anything Top 40"

My actual answer: FOF, that is just too easy. And, there are many so-called Top 40 songs that I enjoy without shame.

Instead, I will go to a band that I'm sure will cause some to object. Because this is a wildly popular band that has been around for years and proven that it can produce hits time and time again. It is a band for which FOF owns no less than 12 CD's. That band is U2.

God, I dislike U2. Even in its early days, I just didn't get it. I still don't. Their music does nothing for me. Let's just say, I'm not "me too" for U2 (ha ha, lame, I know).

2. Any advice for parents (ie Me) contemplating homeschooling?

Fairly Odd Father's guess: "Sedatives"

My actual answer: Hmmm. . .Fairly Odd Father's answer sounds spot on. . .no, no, just kidding.

I could talk about homeschooling for a really long time and it'd bore you all to tears---it'd also make you snicker since I've been doing it for all of seven months, so I'm no seasoned veteran. But, as a newbie, there were two things that really made me think, "I can do this".

The first thing I did was read, read, read. I especially liked John Holt's Teach Your Own, as well as some of his earlier books; Linda Dobson's books will give you tons of confidence and are filled with ideas; Rebecca Rupp was also someone I read. Mary Griffith's The Unschooling Handbook will help you see that learning can happen anywhere. All of these should be available in the library, so just start reading!

The second thing I did was seek out local homeschooling groups so that I could see what types of activities were out there for homeschoolers. Through these groups, I was able to meet people, both online and in person, who let me know what it was like to homeschool in this part of the country. I was shocked at how many people in this area do it, and the numbers seem to be growing. I was also pleasantly surprised that they weren't all like the homeschooling families that you see on TV (you know what I mean: 15 kids, mom in a long dress, kids reading the Bible every 10 minutes; dad talking about the evils of school, etc. etc).

Once you're 'in' it, sedatives may be necessary from time to time. I recommend a glass of wine at about 5pm.

3. You are going on your dream vacation: where is your final destination and are you bringing your husband and children?

Fairly Odd Father offers: "Or are you bringing Phillippe the pool boy?"

My actual answer: We have a pool?

I would love to go somewhere warm, where the water is blue-green, the sand white and the drinks frozen with swirly straws. I would also like to have Fairly Odd Father and all three Fairly Odd Children there because I think I'd miss them too much. That said, wherever we go should have some sort of children's program so that the kids can go play while us adults get some time alone. I know these places exist, we just haven't gotten there yet.

4. How do you cope with stress?

Fairly Odd Father says: "Stoli"

My actual answer: Cope? You think I cope? (and so far my husband thinks I am an alcoholic pill-popper who is sleeping with the hired help. Lovely!)

Really, how do I cope with stress? I cry. Actually, first I yell, then I cry.

I know all about yoga, deep-breathing, meditation, regular exercise and all of that, but I am not great about doing it. Maybe someday I'll learn.

5. What dish/recipe/meal do you most like to make and will you give me the recipe - pretty please with sugar on top?

Fairly Odd Father's response: "Motor City Marvel"

And, I say: Hey, good one FOF! This recipe comes from the fattening, bad-for-you, totally indulgent book called The Sweet Potato Queen's Big-Ass Cookbook (and Financial Planner). And, the title is actually "Motor Home Marvel" because it is a dessert you can make in your double wide without needing a big oven.

We've made it several times for friends who still oooo and ahhhhh when we bring it out (what can I say, we have trashy friends).

To make it, just take a bunch of ice cream sandwiches and cover the bottom of a 9x13" pan with them (remove the wrappers but I sure hope you knew that!). Take a fork and poke holes in the top layer of the sandwiches, and then pour a jar of caramel sauce over them (the kind you'd pour on a sundae). Then spread Cool Whip over that, and sprinkle with Heath Bar or Skor Bar bits (found in the same aisle as chocolate chips, or, if you are feeling feisty, you can smash up your own). That's it! Stick back into the freezer until you are ready to serve.

And now, with my tummy rumbling, I will go to bed and dream of ice cream sandwiches layered all over Phillipe the Pool Boy. Mangia!

(By the way, if anyone wants me to send them 5 interview questions, just leave a note in the comments area and I will attempt to do so. Please include an email address!)