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Exercisus Interupptus

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Fairly Odd Mother

Frantically waving my magic wand to make wishes come true.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Exercisus Interupptus

The other morning, one of my kids was having a fit over something or other, turned to me and yelled, "You are soooooo FAT!"

Ouch, kiddo. You know where to hit me where it hurts.

I haven't been exactly the picture of health this winter. Too much grazing, too little (read: none) exercise, too much "oh, I'll just finish this up instead of saving leftovers".

Too much top to this muffin, if you know what I mean.

But, it was my child's angry words that hit me like a slap. I guess not looking at mirrors all winter doesn't mean I'm invisible. Other people can see what I've been trying to ignore. And while I think her "fat" description was a bit excessive ("puffy" is better), it is getting me to rethink how I want to look come June. I don't want to carry this extra 15 pounds into the summer.

So tonight I decided to start exercising again by taking a few baby steps back toward fitness. Husband is out late, but I figured the kids, at 6, 7 & 10, are more than capable of getting ready for bed while I hit the exercise bike for a paltry 20 minutes.

Five minutes in: "WAH!!!!!" followed by sobs and cries of agony. Jilly had run into the back of D's head and smashed her nose. I paused the bike, put ice on her nose, kissed her head, and sent her on her way.

Pedal, pedal. Five more minutes pass. "WAH!!!!!" followed by cries and screeches of agony. D had tripped entering his room and whacked his head and knee into the door frame. Pause bike, administer first aid, kiss head, hop back on bike.

Ten more minutes pass relatively uneventfully but then I decide to push my luck and do a 15 minutes "walking" video (I'm pretty sure Jillian Michaels would bitch-slap me for this). Five minutes into it, a morose Belly slithers into the room like a Dementor and sucks all the joy out of the room with her pouting.

At this rate, maybe I should just buy bigger pants.

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Anonymous Chicky Baby said...

I'm in the same boat but I refuse to buy bigger pants. I will just continue to wear my yoga pants every day until they split from my expanding ass. Should make for a good story.

8:31 AM  
Blogger AnnetteK said...

I've had a rough winter too, it culminated in buying elastic waist jeans at Wal-Mart to get me through. I don't think it gets any worse than that.

8:35 AM  
Blogger Patois said...

I shall just use your experience as reason why I am not even going to try.

Better luck next time.

8:45 AM  
Blogger Amelia Sprout said...

Make the kid who called you fat exercise with you. Heck, make all of them. They can either leave you alone to get healthy or suck it up and do it with you. ;)
I have an excuse for being a lump, but I am oddly itching to run and can't wait until I hit the six week mark and can get out there. I don't know what happened to me.

8:56 AM  
Blogger Suburb Sierra said...

Exercise: It's what the golden years are for - when the kids leave and we can concentrate on ourselves again. I'll meet you at the gym when we hit 70. Deal?

9:05 AM  
Blogger Marinka said...

I know you're homeschooling, so please don't take this the wrong way, but you should probably concentrate more on vocabulary. Because I've seen you not that long ago, and there is no way that you are "fat".

1:06 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

It's so hard to fit exercise in especially when we have the kids 24/7. Now that the weather is getting nice...maybe sometimes we could "share services". You go for a run while I watch the kids then I'll go while you watch the kids.

9:07 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Q. said...

Here's my foolproof fitness tip: Do not exercise at home. I mean it. Hire a sitter, tell your husband to come home early, join a gym with kids' classes or daycare. I drop kicked my three year old doing Tae Bo in the living room and had the kids play horsie while I did downward dog before I cried uncle.

Now I go to the gym when I can. Exercising is as much for the body as it is for the mind. You DESERVE to have a few hours a week to run, squat or crunch without having to think about anything-- or anyone-- else. Especially after this @*(&$-ing winter.

(And you have a muffin top as much as I have cankles.)

9:37 PM  
Blogger Jessica said...

"...Sucks all the joy out of the room," is a great description.

I remember doing it, in fact. And much like a Dementor. It's a wonder my mother speaks to me.

9:56 PM  
Anonymous DisgruntledMom said...

Sadly, I don't just have bigger pants, but a WIDE range of sizes that have all recently been used.

I do believe there is a plot to keep me fat & slow so that they have the advantage!

10:11 PM  
Blogger Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

I'm with Amelia. Enter the room, get injured or need a butt wiped and you are volunteering yourself to be Mom's exercise buddy.

7:05 AM  
Blogger Sarahviz said...

Keep at it! I'll start looking for a spring 5K for us!

2:39 PM  

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