Confession: Just because they didn't "Cry It Out" doesn't mean they didn't cry

I think I was a little misleading in my last post about Sleep Training, or the lack thereof, in our household. My quip, "I can't listen to my cat cry without going to see what she needs, never mind my kid" makes it sound like I am Super Mama, leaping out of bed without a single peep to comfort my offspring.

It was not (and is not) easy for me to come to terms with my kids inability to stay in their frakking beds all night long. I felt like a failure when our crib sat empty in the nursery while babies #1 and #2 slept in our bedroom (by #3, we had given up all pretense and donated our crib to my sister).

And I most certainly was not the picture of tranquility as I soothed my children late at night.

Often, I was the exact opposite.

It pissed me off to be woken up again and again and again. I'd curse my sore butt from my position on the floor, by the door, reading until sleep overtook their tired bodies. I'd "shhhhhh SHHHHHHHH!" them angrily when their wails threatened to wake up the rest of the household at 3am.

Does this come with the territory? Either they cry as babies, or they cry when they are older and we've drawn that line in the sand.

I have a couple of friends who put mattresses on the floor of their bedroom and do the "family bed" quite literally. But even with our big king-size bed, we could never comfortably do the family bed with more than one child in it. You do the math: If one was in our bed, that meant there was one, usually two, children who were not sleeping with us.

And often they were pissed.

This is a big reason why the girls now share a bedroom: To keep each other company at night. Jilly is my restless one, often screaming out in the middle of the night, and Belly has taken over my role with her "It's ok, go to sleep" murmurings.

And, it's another reason why I let D into my bed so easily. Not only is he my last one, but he is also the only one who has his own room. When he asks, "why do I have to sleep alone?", I have no answer and just tell him to scooch over to let me lie down.

I know in a few years, he will be so, so happy to have his own room. And then the girls will be crying for their own too.