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Fairly Odd Mother

Frantically waving my magic wand to make wishes come true.

Thursday, July 22, 2010


I have no less than five posts started that are all completely and totally depressing. To say that the issues we're having with one child's anxiety are all-encompassing would be an understatement.

One post wonders if I did this to her. By homeschooling her. By being a Type A personality. By yelling too much or not paying enough attention to her.

One post struggles with my fear and sadness over what has happened to our family.

One post goes through our thoughts about the whole "medicate/don't medicate" debate.

And then there are others that try to change the subject but all come back to the realities of our life.

But, instead, I'll hit publish on this one.

Today, I have hope. I am allowing myself to see some light at the end of the tunnel, however dim it may be and no matter how often I may lose sight of it. We will get through this.

Even if I have to repeat this a million times, it will be my mantra: We will get through this. And we will be better, stronger, happier for it.

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Blogger Robin said...

You did NOT "do" this to her. You are the rock that she needs to conquer this - to find her way back again. THAT is what you are doing for her every day in all of the ways, said and unsaid, that you show her she matters.



10:33 AM  
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11:01 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Christina -

Of course you did not "do" this to her. Robin is right - you are the rock, not the cause. How much worse could it be if she were surrounded by less-than-understanding strangers at school?

I wish I could give you a hug.

It will get better.
It will. It will. It will.

And we are here in the meantime, to listen.

11:05 AM  
Blogger The Mom said...

You did not do this to her! It takes time to get through it and I know it's hard, but you will. She will be ok in the end. You are a wonderful mom!

11:25 AM  
Blogger Mama Goose said...

I'm so sorry you're all struggling through this, but you're right: You will be stronger because of this. Keep repeating your mantra, breathe deep and keep moving forward. We will be here to help you through it in any way we can.

11:41 AM  
Blogger Mama Goose said...

Oh, and if it helps, publish every depressing post you need to. Getting your fears and frustrations out will help you and others who are going through struggles of their own.

11:44 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Q. said...

Amen. You will ALL get through this... one day at a time. I know it feels like the summer is wasting away, but she is where she needs to be, and your other two are not suffering at all. You are, but that is the price of being a loving mother.

Remember, you have family, friends and wonderful readers who will support you in any way we can. Even your spam offers such sage advice: "do not give up the chance to even know, know no loss to you!" er...

Take a deep breath. Smile. Go for a run. Call your sister. Have a drink. And by all means, try to enjoy your birthday tomorrow. You deserve it.

12:19 PM  
Anonymous Boston Mamas said...

Huge, huge hugs... it will get better. As Jon and I have said in our darkest parenting times, there is no way other than up. xoxo

1:37 PM  
Blogger Jen @ Rolling Through Looneyville said...

Lurker, here. I've been thinking about y'all a lot lately.

It will get better. If for no other reason than the sweet kid has a mom who loves the pieces out of her. It will.

Hugs and prayers for you and yours.

7:43 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

No you did not do this to her! Cole has quite a few anxiety issues and I have often blamed myself because his fears are a-lot like mine. I honestly never felt like I ever let him see that. I know you have everything under control but a book I read that helped both of us is Helping Your Anxious Child...A step by step guide.

Type A personality? Really? I wouldn't have described you as having a type A personality.

8:13 PM  
Blogger Kez said...


8:45 PM  
Blogger Patois said...

I think it's only natural as GOOD parents that we blame ourselves for whatever problems our children have. I find I do that all the time. And yet I'm willing to let my kids claim their successes with little thought that I also contributed to those good things.

We can't help ourselves, it seems. It's what we do. She's blessed to have you. You all will get through this and life will be simply fabulous again. And I will hope that light shines more and more brightly every single day.

9:07 AM  
Anonymous lettergirl said...

We went through a heartbreaking and exhausting bout with this when one of my children was younger. I understand the exhaustion of feeling responsible for someone else's happiness -- working so hard to put her at ease, always trying to cajole her out of this. It is so very hard on you. We worked through a lot of solutions, finally found one that stuck, and she is ok now. Hope shares from the other side. =)

10:40 AM  
Blogger Jen said...

I have an anxious child, too. He takes a lot of my energy, patience, time, thought, concern ... right now. It's such a challenge, and I feel for you. Just like moving beyond those unpublished posts, you WILL get through it the best way you know how. Hang in there.

2:38 PM  
Blogger Little Miss Sunshine State said...

You did not do anything to her.
No one believes me when I say that I remember having my first anxiety attack in kindergarten.
I think some of us are just brain-wired for anxiety.

You and she will find ways to calm her and make her feel comfortable.

10:31 PM  
Anonymous Velma said...

You will get through this. I struggle with depression/anxiety, and our families on both sides are riddled with mental health issues and learning disorders. I've got one child with dual diagnoses of autistic spectrum disorder and ADHD and another child with anxiety disorder which has required counseling.

I don't know about you, but I look around my extended family and realize this is just the hand we've been dealt. The counseling my girl received last year is still so helpful - we talk about her "toolbox" of skills to help when she feels anxious and it's amazing how much she has learned to help herself. Don't feel alone - you are not the only family going through this.

11:55 PM  
Anonymous Julie said...

Whatever you have to do to let the stress go, you just need to do. And if that means 5 depressing posts in a row, so be it. If that means we don't see a post from you in a full week or two, so be it. We are all still here for you, no matter what you need or don't need.

((HUGS)) I'll be praying that this passes just as fast as it came on.

8:04 AM  

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