The frustrations of being second

When I found out I was having a third child, I bought a book about birth order right away. Jilly was going to become a "middle child" (gasp!), and I needed to figure out how to help her deal with this. The interesting thing was the book left me with a feeling that the middle kids usually end up pretty well adjusted, with a better sense of self and stronger social connections than first or last borns. Phew!

What I didn't really consider was how being second, after an Alpha older sister, would affect her. This is a bit ironic since I am an Alpha older sister with a younger sister, and know of plenty of other sister/sister pairs.

I didn't anticipate her frustration.

Frustration that she cannot make her letters too well (yet). That she doesn't color in the lines all the time (yet). That she doesn't sing as loud, jump as high, read as fast as her 2-year-older sister. . .you get the idea.

Even when she doesn't make a fuss, I may find something that hits me right in the gut. She'll destroy something that she's worked hard on, a coloring picture or a page of handwritten letters.


I know that when I gently ask her what's wrong, or why she scribble over her hard work, I'm likely to be met with loud sobs from a little girl who tries hard, but is two years younger, will always be two years younger.

It hurts my heart.




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We saw one of our favorite kids' musicians, Justin Roberts, play this past weekend; see what I thought over at Fairly Odd Reviews.