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Fairly Odd Mother

Frantically waving my magic wand to make wishes come true.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Quivering in Anticipation

Have I mentioned that my birthday is coming up?

No?

Oh, I have?

Well, surely I haven't said yet how old I'm going to be?

Oh.

I have said that too, have I?


One can say that I'm just a teeny-tiny obsessed about turning 40 this year. This could be because I clearly remember my mother turning 40 (I was 16! Sixteen!!!!). Or, it could be because I am now due for a lovely date with a tube in an uncomfortable place (yup, colonoscopy at 40; part of my father's inheritance).

It may just be that 40 sounds so OLD to me. While I believe that whole spiel about "you are only as old as you feel", let's face it, I'm not a 20-year old. In fact, 20-year olds call me "ma'am" (bastards!). Forty is (sob) middle aged.

Fortunately, Fairly Odd Father is doing his best to keep me from wailing too much. A few days ago, a Fed Ex truck drove up and gave me these:

Wait, there is more:


The card said this:

"Please do not schedule anything for July 20-22. Your time has already been accounted for."


Apparently, I am being taken somewhere for the weekend. A weekend without children. Without children. This will be the first time we have gone away together without the kids.

Who will watch the kids? Oh, just my mom and my sister. Yes, this sister, who is clearly suffering from some sort of post-partum insanity. I am terribly grateful for this insanity. The insanity of my mother will be a bit more interesting. I can just hear her shouting commands in German at my three children: "Nein!" "Schnell!" "Dummkopf!" Oh, it will be an interesting weekend in the Fairly Odd Home.

As for the husband and I, I have no idea where we are going or what we are doing (I do know we are not skiing; I asked). I wish I had time to get into bikini shape, because it seems like a weekend away for the first time in almost seven years would warrant "bikini shape", but it ain't gonna happen. Stay tuned for more info.

-----------------------------------------
On a separate, but still happy, note: I WON! I WON!

I won the Cool Mom Picks' Mother's Day contest (yes, I know that Mother's Day was a while ago, but still jump up and down and squeal with me, ok?); all I did was put their pretty little Mother's Day banner on my site, and I was picked randomly as the winner of such awesome prizes:

First there is a Zutano gift card worth $250 which is more than I spend on any one kid in a year. Then there are these prints and photo album from Mahar Drygoods. I cannot wait to frame the prints and hang them in the kiddos' rooms.

The mommas at Cool Mom Picks really offer some great prizes which is why I'm so jealous I won't be able to play their big scavenger hunt at BlogHer '07. I hope one of you wins!

-----------------------------------------

I'll leave you with one last thing:

Yes, turkey momma and her turklets, or whatever they are called. Eat, momma, eat! No one likes a skinny turkey!

Labels: ,

posted by Fairly Odd Mother @ 8:09 PM 

13 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Muhahahahah! It's fun to lie to you. I'm tickled thinking about you having such a nice weekend away. Oma and I will be cracking a few bottles of wine dealing with five kids, but hey, she wanted grandchildren, right?

Kidding aside, it will be fun. The little man talks about his cousins all day, he's so excited.

And happy anniversary. I forgot it, too, but I will never forget the wedding in 101 degree heat. :>)

9:40 PM  
Blogger Robin said...

A whole weekend without kids? Wahooo! Sounds incredible. I can't wait to hear where FOD is taking you!

PS I'm the youngest of most of our closest friends (just turned 38 last week), so by the time I hit any of these milestones they just laugh at me. Makes it a lot more bearable. I highly recommend going out and finding a few "old" friends ;-).

11:24 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Does this mean the Loon Pond Luau is off? Damn. Oh well, I guess your birthday is a good enough reason. Meanwhile, you don't look a day over 28. How you do it, I don't know, but I bet it has something to do with a husband who buys you flowers.

7:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a sweet gift from your hubby! And a little surprise getaway... soooooo fun! I'm envious!

I get called ma'am by 20-year-olds, too... and I'm 26! I don't think that warrants a ma'am! And neither does 40!

Looking forward to hearing about your birthday weekend!

Jane, P&B Girls

8:26 AM  
Blogger Magpie said...

Happy impending birthday!

BTW, the colonoscopy itself is a piece of cake - they knock you out and you know nothing of the tube in an uncomfortable place. The prep, on the other hand, sucks.

And congrats on the fine prizes!

9:10 AM  
Blogger Blog Owner said...

I'm turning 40 (fine, it's still two years away), but I was JUST telling my girlfriends last week this freaks me out because I remember when my dad turned 40 & the neighbors bought him prune juice and a cane for gag gifts.

Ha ha, really funny!

9:36 AM  
Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said...

LOL Myminivan! When my mom turned 40, our neighbor made her a cake that said, "Forty is an F-word". Then all around it were the words, "Fantastic", "Fun",
"Fabulous", etc.

Feel free to gag.

9:39 AM  
Blogger Chicky Chicky Baby said...

Mmm... Turkey. Now that's good eating.

I kid, I kid. That would be wrong.

Your birthday, though vague, sounds very exciting. I hope you both have a great time!

9:55 AM  
Blogger Reff said...

A baby turkey is called a poult. (thank you Google)

Oh yeah by the way...skiing? Sorry, but I couldn't get reasonable flights to Chile.

Dropping a clue "Internet style" - we're not getting on a plane.

12:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe your partner-in-oddness could call up my hubby and strongly hint that it would be nice of him to take me away somewhere for a weekend before child #3 makes its appearance at the house o' screaming boy-children... Oh, and like Jane I'm only 26 and get "ma'am"ed too. Sucks.

12:29 PM  
Blogger Blog Antagonist said...

What a guy! A weekend without kids sounds like absolutely BLISS. Course, that's coming off of 8 straight days of togetherness.

I'm not looking forward to turning 40 either (I'm 38) but I'm trying not to stress about it.

Have a great birthday!

2:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

shoot, i've still got 18 or months or so until 40 (hmm...i think. i'm so old, i kind of do keep forgetting my age...that's bad, eh?), but i've had the uber-fun colonoscopy twice.

the first, in my early 20s, while in college. not fun. the technology for that sort of test seemed like it was stuck in the 1700s. i'll spare you the details, but a fairly solid steel rod shoved up your bum is not a party, contrary to what the internet tells you.

the other, a couple years back. so much simpler. they knock you out with some potent stuff - i was literally in mid-sentence, panickly saying "no! i'm not out yet! i'm not ready for...zzzzzzzzzzzz" - when i went under, and they stick some much more flexible than steel sort of thing where the sun don't shine, and the next thing you know, you're waking up, and wheeled into a recovery room where 3 or 4 other people are also...err..."releasing" the gas they just pumped your innards full of.

i would, however, recommend having someone there to drive you home. there was no way i would have been able to drive as i shook off the effects of the gas...

6:10 AM  
Blogger nuttnbunny said...

It will be nice to have you finally join us - we have finally achieved the enlightenment of the 4th decade. It's great on this side. Can't wait to here the full report on what your secret semi-solo weekend holds! Will it be better than Gold Clogs?

6:27 AM  

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