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Fairly Odd Mother

Frantically waving my magic wand to make wishes come true.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Is there enough time to go around?

This might strike you as odd, but I worry that I'm not spending enough time with the kids.

I don't mean as a group, which is how we do things around here. Every. Single. Day.

I mean one-on-one time. Just Mama and Child A. Or B. Or C. That kind of dedicated time with each child on their own just doesn't happen right now.

It's the same thing for Fairly Odd Father who has it even harder than me: he's gone from dawn until dinnertime during the week. On the weekends, the kids crawl all over him like ants on a cookie when he isn't trying to do school work or the home improvement projects I've left for him.

Alone time with each child? How? When? Is it possible?

Well, we're going to try.

Once a week, I'm going to take one of the kids out to dinner by themselves (think "BK", not "5 star"). It'll give us time to sit together and talk, uninterrupted, about whatever is on their 4-,6- or 8-year-old minds.

And, each weekend, Fairly Odd Father is going to do something special with one child, like take them for a bike ride or go play mini-golf. And, knowing him, make a stop for ice cream afterward (he already knows that a trip to Home Depot does not equal "special quality time").

I've heard that other families do this and it always sounded so quaint, but I didn't see how we could fit this into our schedules.

But, we're going to try. I'll let you know how it goes.

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Blogger Just Vegas said...

My younger sister and I were homeschooled. We also one sister that was well older than us and another older sister who was severely handicapped. Understandably, a lot of my mom's time went to our sister. Anyway, she used to do this one kid once a week thing and we LOVED it. So, recommended!

10:28 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

I hear that. I am a stay at home mom of a boy (4) and a girl (2) AND my husband works from home. Some days at the end of the day I realize all I have done is holler at them to Please Be Quiet! Usually we try to work in one on one time in our regular lives - one kid goes with me to the grocery store and for a treat after, next time the other kid goes....What do you mean trips to Home Depot don't count? What about if you answer ten thousand questions about all the different kinds of pipes and let them sit on the riding lawnmowers? Totally counts, dude

Anyway, good for you!

10:43 AM  
Blogger Melani said...

Sounds like a wonderful plan! I am at home with my 2 little ones, 3.5 and 19 months. I try to sit and read to my daughter, the older one, and then I try to have one on one time with the little one, but it is hard, then I have teenagers that are home in the afternoon. It is hard to balance it out. We had no TV day last Friday and let me tell you, I read more to the kids and in general spent more time talking to them rather then shushing them because I wanted to "hear the TV"....a win win situation for us all! and we cut back on electricity, which is important too :)

11:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I started having "mommy and me" time with my daughter to ease the transition when her little brother was born. It went pretty well, but has become more challenging now that I'm a single mom. Hopefully things will settle down soon and we can get into a rhythym again. I miss our Saturday morning breakfasts together and I want solo time with my little dude too.

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well 4 recently proclaimed "you never play with me" and I realized we are so wrapped up in going here and there that shes right, her "play time" has been when mommy is trying to cook or clean. So we are making a similar effort for some one on one time.

1:29 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

It is hard to find one on one time with each of them! We have date days every month. I take Cole and KC takes Paige one month and then we switch. It's great for all of us.

We tried the every week thing but it just got too stressful. The once/month thing is definitely doable and the kids enjoy thinking about what they want to do next with us.

Pretty soon we'll be adding Noah into the equation too and taking him out.

1:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds great, but it wouldn't work for us. Because the kid who is stuck at home with me would be so freakin' pissy about being left behind that I'd have a meltdown. I'd rather leave them both with dad and go have BK by myself. Because you see: IT IS ALL ABOUT ME! ME! ME!

2:00 PM  
Blogger Chicky Chicky Baby said...

Please do let us know because I am sucking at this BIG TIME.

Good luck!

7:16 PM  
Blogger Issa said...

I try and do lunch on a weekend day with one and then the next weekend the other. My husband then does it the next time or whatever. It's hard with three, but it's kinda fun.

My mom used to take each of us (I'm the oldest of 3) grocery shopping in turn. It was our time with her and we never minded where we were, we were happy to be with her for an hour.

10:29 PM  
Anonymous Sarah @ said...

My parents did this with us when we were kids and I still have very fond memories of being the only one who had mom or dad's attention. At the time, I didn't realize that it was a carefully orchestrated system, I just felt like I was the favorite kid =P

I hope it works out so well for your family too!

10:27 AM  
Blogger Sarahviz said...

Great idea - we suffer from this lack-of-alone-time-with-each-child-guilt over in the Trenches too.

1:19 PM  
Blogger Green-Eyed Momster said...

My girls are different when it's just us, one on one, spending time together. I don't know why!
When they are together, they change. Maybe they just compete to see who can get my attention by being the loudest? I don't know. I love one on one time! It's priceless!
Congrats and hugs!!

6:12 PM  
Blogger SabrinaT said...

Ian and I do this with the older boys. It works well, my tweenager tells me EVERYTHING when we go for a walk or to grab a bagel. Just the other day him and I were out and he said "mom, I held a girls hand today". After I composed myself, we talked about dating, girls, and respect. Once I got home I cried my eyes out that I now have a tweenager!
I think it helps with Noah, he is the middle child and I want him to not feel lost in the frey!

You will love your one on one time as much as they do!

6:48 PM  

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