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Fairly Odd Mother

Frantically waving my magic wand to make wishes come true.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Pleased to meet you. I'm Practical.

Way back in college (we're talking late 80's. . .a l-o-n-g time ago), I was called 'practical'. I must admit, it hurt. I wanted to be known as fun, flirty, whimsical; someone who let things roll off her back. No baggage here! But no. . . .practical. As in, flat dress shoes, one-pot meals, stain-resistant pants and savings plans.

It happened one night at a bar (you'll see that many of my posts will begin like this). I had just finished my third Woo Woo of the night. I was bouncing merrily off the crowd when a guy friend came to me, draped his drunken arm around my shoulders and purred into me ear, "Someday, after I've found the girl I'm going to marry, I'm going to make sure she meets you. You are so practical, you can teach her to be too". (ok, I'm sure the wording was a bit different, but give my tired brain a break; I'm lucky I can remember much from my 20's).

I looked at him with wide, terrified eyes and backed away until I had bumped off enough people to land in my roommate's lap. I then cried, "PRACTICAL?!?!? I'm doomed! I'll never get married! Guys don't want PRACTICAL! They want cute and sexy and fun!" She probably suggested we get another Woo Woo (God Bless You, Sharon).

Of course, deep down, I knew it was true. I always went to the library before hitting the bars. I wrote my research paper notes on index cards so that everything was organized. Our off-campus apartment was spotless. I was dependable; I was a

Shoot forward many years and, yes, I did find a nice, fun, adorable man who thought, "cute, sexy, fun AND practical!" And then we got married and now have three cute, fun and practical kids (no sexy, never sexy). I kind of like 'practical' now. It sounds so safe and comforting. And, while it still reminds me of flat dress shoes, one-pot meals, stain-resistant pants and savings plans, those things now hold a special place in my loud, frazzled, messy life.

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Blogger Mom101 said...

Okay that is like the single worst thing I thing any guy could ever say to a drunk woman in the bar. I mean, "wanna do it in my trailer?" would probably be better than that!

For what it's worth, practical is not the first thing I think of when I think of you. I think of you in that bleeding heart halloween costume in 92 (eek) and how I thought to myself, now THERE'S someone I could be friends with!

11:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

heh heh heh... That's like having a young guy call you "ma'am"... Oy. That's like the jerk who said he didn't want to date you NOW, but you were perfect wife material.

While you are practical in many ways, "funny" and "wacky" always spring to the top of my list when describing you. In a good way. It's just "Christina being Christina", which is just fine in my book.

12:33 PM  
Blogger Reff said...

The "trailer" line gets 'em every time. How do you think we met?

10:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you have a future with this blog stuff. I see you becoming a guest commentator on NPR. Get me a job while your at it, kay? And one of those NPR logo book bags. I ~so~ want one. My friends are already surprised I don't have one. And my stepson's girlfirend thinks it's hilarious that I have an NPR sticker on my minivan. "You are SUCH a mom!" I think there's a label for me close to "practical". Oh wait, it's "dork".
Nice reading! Thanks!

11:13 AM  
Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said...

What? NPR bumper stickers aren't common in Connecticut? LOL, I don't have one although hubby (Fairly Odd Father for the purposes of this blog) does have a sticker on his car that says "W"orst President Ever. Surely NPR would like that.

4:06 PM  

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